Divorce

How could he leave us, it's just not fair
He's ruining our lives, doesn't he care
I'm sick of the crying, I can't take much more
He gave up on us, he broke the vows that he swore
But it's hard to be mad because I love him so
I just want to pretend this away and not let him go
My life isn't over and I try to be strong
But it's so hard to move on when so much is wrong



My parents are getting divorced. It's the worst thing thats ever happen to me. My life was so perfect for a few months, and now it sucks. This was not suppose to happen to my family.

Missing You

Where have you gone
It's been so long
Since I've seen your face

Where did you go
I miss you so
I miss your warm embrace

I'm leaving now
And you're not around
I want to see your face

I say good bye
And for you I cry
Because we can no longer embrace



I wrote this poem for my best friend who I don't get to see very often any more because we go to different schools. I'm moving in a few months and I'm scared that we're growing apart and I won't get to say good bye to him. So this is for him.

I'm Losing Your Balance

Leave me alone, this cannot be
I don't want you, can't you see
I'm not as wonderful as you say
In fact I'm not perfect in any way
You're obsessed with me and now I'm scared of you
Because if I mess up, what will you do
You make it up to me whether you're happy or not
So now if I'm sad, you have suicidal thoughts
I can't give to you what you thrive
And I can no longer keep balance in both our lives



Again please, my friends if you're reading this, don't think much into it. It is about a friend of mine and if you know me it's pretty obvious who, but he doesn't know about my poetry blog so I'm ok. Any ways, I want to explain the title. You see it's his fault that I'm in this situation, he really really loves me, but I don't feel the same and I'm still doing the best I can to keep our friendship (the balance). So I'm losing his balance because he's the one who has caused the need for a balance and I'm the one ruining it.

Comprimising

Going through the motions, knowing it's a lie
Nothings getting better, why do I still try
I want to make them happy and I don't care what that means
My emotions might be comprimised, but I know that's what the need
Sometimes you shouldn't settle, if only this I known
I wouldn't be surrounded, yet still destined to be alone



Man am I having a day. I've been rather frustrated all day and the only way to get it out of me was for me to write poetry. And as a result I have two poems about the same topic. I must be pretty bold posting them both and I hope my friends don't take it personlly because I love you all, it just seems different now that Nicole is gone.

Valentine's Eve

Did I do the wrong thing, did I say the wrong words
Was I even really heard
I love him, but he loves another
I miss the days when we loved each other
It's not like I couldn't get a different guy
But that relationship would be a lie
For he is the one my heart desires
He is the one I truelly adrmire
Yet, no use crying over a love that's gone
I'll dry my tears, I will move on



Well it's the day before Valentine's Day, which is how the poem got its name. This is pretty much how I feel right now, because I gave someone a Valentine's Day card and I'm starting to think that I wrote too much in it and that the feelings may not be returned. Or maybe I just put the guy in akward postion because he might feel that he has to get me something now, which is so not true. I just wanted him to know how I felt. Grrr I need to stop doubting myself.

My Drug

Your kiss is poison, your body's a drug
I get high on just our love
Dangerous and forbidden thought it is
I can't help from wanting it
Our bodies coliding, the warmth of your touch
The ecstasy we create, it's all so much
But what will happen when we've both had are fix
Will it really be you I miss
Thus lies the question, is it lust or love
Or is my infatuation an effect of the drug



When I started writing this it was not supposed to have a sexual overtone to it, but after the second line I decided to try something different then my usual sad poetry. This still isn't exactly happy, but it's different from my other stuff.

Ode to a Broken Heart

What love is there like a love not returned
That love that makes your chest burn
You do everything to be the perfect mate
But all you gain is rejection and hate
Constantly being told to just move on
Knowing you can't break that bond
Hoping, wishing you'll be loved back
All the while your heart cracks
So you let the pain seep through you
Because there is nothing else that you can do



I don't know of any one who hasn't gone through this same situation. It sucks, but it happens because no one is perfect. Oh and I'm not sure if this can really be considered an "ode" but I liked the title.

My Secret

Always the right person, never the right time
Love for me is always a crime
I finelly find someone who understands me
Only to find out we cannot be
So I hide my feelings to protect theirs'
Because hurt is not something I wish to share



I wrote this poem a while back and I really liked it, but I was somewhat afraid to post it because I thought it would be quite obvious who I was talking about. Now my guy problems are so messed anyone who can guess who I'm talking about deserves a cookie.

Just a Warning

How dare you try and hurt me, don't you know I could cut you with my words
Your guilt trip never stood a chance, cuz you know I'll make you feel worse
It's not my job to make you happy and it's not my goal to make you sad
But if your gonna mess with how I feel expect me to be mad
I never loved you and I never will
I know my words are cold, but see you live still
So run along and get over me because I'm over you
I don't need your heartach , so don't continue to pursue



I got into a fight today with a friend of mine who has a huge crush on me. The problem is I don't feel the same and he refuses to see that. He makes me feel like it's my responsibilty to keep him happy and I hate that, because when I do anything at all I run the risk of hurting his feelings. So anyways, he'll probably never read this, but if he does I hope he gets the message.

Life and Living

My whole life is just a waste of breathe
My body will serve more purpose after death
I sit here just wasting time
Writing line after stupid line
I take no risks, I live without chance
I live like I'm in some hum drum trance
I long for there to be some meaning in why I'm alive
Why am I here, why should I survive
For I see nothing out there worth living for
So tell me why I should continue living any more



Another suicide threat that I will fail to fall through on. Oh well. This poem came from a revaltion I had yesterday. I have a boring life. Never once have I done anything extremlly dangerous, I never dared to test the limits that my parents have set for me. I am safe and I hate that. But now that I realize it, I can change it. And you can bet your life I will.

Changing My Mind

The other day I would have given anything to be rid of this place
But with a touch of your hand that thought's gone without a trace
You've shown me what I'm really giving up in my pursuit to be "free"
Now that my eyes are open I never want to leave
I want to stay here in the warmth of your arms
I know there I can endure no harm
You are my safety net, my constant friend
And I know you'll be there until the very end
Remember no matter where I am I belong to you
My heart is pure and my love is true



I chose a different color for this poem because, unlike my other poems, it was never ment to be in my poetry book I was putting together. This I wrote for someone special to me who asked me to write a love poem. I laughed at the request because it's not what I'm used to writing, but I couldn't step now from the challenge. I cried while writing this because it means a lot to me and before I give it to my someone special I want to know if it's any good.

Leper Lepellier

He looked upon the world , only to see fear
His life he once loved had lost all it's happy cheer
The beauty of his mind was dashed and turned to hate
Hope was his crime and insanity was his fate
A boy once full of love, now a man with only loathing
Thus plays the mind and it's psychotic controling



Another strange title that seems like it has nothing to do with the poem. This one actuelly does though. In english class we are reading A Separate Peace, by John Knowles and today while reading chapter 10 I became inspired to write about the character Leper Lepellier, a once nice trustworthy guy turned insane by the war. The chapter really upset me and showed me the mind is a truelly terrible thing to lose.

A Gift for You

Does He want me, I can never tell
The constant wondering hurts like hell
I've given him everything short of my life
But the day he asks for it I won't think twice
My heart is his and his alone
Being without him makes my soul groan
I've never felt a love as strong as this
Just hearing his name makes me long for his kiss
I miss the times I spent in his arms
His beautiful eyes and undaunting charm
And now he hints he feels the same
More likely my hearts playing a wishful game



First of all you may have noticed that the poem and title don't really match up. The story behind that is when I wrote the poem (5 minutes ago) I couldn't be bothered to get up and find paper so I grabbed the first thing I could find to write on, a peice of cardboard. When I finished the poem and was trying to come up with a title for it I flipped the cardboard over and on it was written, A Gift for You, and that saying suited me. So that's where the title came from. Also this is my first attempt at a love poem and obviously I sorta failed miserably because the poem is still really sad and not quite as lovey as I had planned. But I don't think I did a bad job. And also props to Kovier, because his poem inspired me to write. Thanks.

Who am I?

Waiting for the answer to who am I
I get more confused the more I try
Who is the girl in the mirror staring at me
Her identatiy is a mystery
I long to know what's my purpose in life
That has forever been my ongoing strife
And from now until the day I die
I will wonder what is it that makes me cry
What makes me laugh, what makes me sad
What makes me wonder, what makes me mad
So that some day I'll finelly meet
The girl they all call Emily



The question I have been trying to answer since the 8th grade. Still don't know.

My Crime

My pen is my weapon, these lines are my crime
Please judge, what's the punishment for sorrow filled rhyme
I've confessed myself in sullen words
I've gained pitty that I do not desevre
Pain I have still, but love I have lost
Tell me now, at what cost
I've already lost all I hold dear
There is nothing else left that I will fear
Torture, death, I can take it all
What ever you say, it's your call



So, don't know what propted this or really what it's about. It started out as a strange appology for having only depressing writing, but turned into standing up for it. The ending kinda sucks and is really over dramatic, but I feel like that sometimes. Everything hurts so much so that I'm not scared of anything.

Broken

I wake up each morning to find myself grieving
I seriously doubt there is a benefit to breathing
Life goes on but my heart stands still
They think this can all be fixed with a pill
But it's more than just inside my head
I walk and talk but my soul is dead
So if you find a solution please let me know
If not just leave me, let me go



This is another one of those poems that started with a good line I wanted to use that just came to me out of no where. The second line infact, but I had to alter it a little, it used to be "I find myself debating the benefits of breathing" but that obviously didn't fit. This poem is also a little weird in the fact that I didn't know what I was writing about until I was done with it. Also props to Patrick for coming up with a title because I seriously couldn't think of one.

Trapped

Take me away from this place, I want out
Here the pain of the past does nothing but shout
I'm constantly reminded of hurtful memories
I can't forget, I can't forgive, I need to leave
Anywhere else I can live free
I can be whoever I want to be
But in this city, this house, this place that I know
Here, here my history won't let me go



This is a rather interesting poem, I wrote it about 5 minutes ago. You see I had been trying to write a poem all night and I was just about to give up when the first line came to me out of no where. Anyways the poem is about how I feel about Columbus right now. Since I'm moving in 7 months more than ever I feel like I'm stuck here and I just cannot wait until we leave!

Suicide

The music plays calmly as I softly cry
Any moment now I will die
I leave behind this world of pain
In my final decision I feel not ashamed
I'm ready for peace, I'm ready for love
Please God take me to the above
The tub around me fills with blood from my bleeding wrist
My body grows cold but the pain persists
In my final thoughts I say good bye
But I'm all alone, there is no reply



In the mood to post something and this is the only good poem I had left in my stack. I'm not really suicidal, but a few times death has sounded like a good escape. The only problem is there is no coming back.

Jealousy

Jealousy is the evilest of all pain
It takes control of your heart & mind and drives you completely insane
It will take your broken heart and slice it even more
It will rob you of your feelings until all is numb or sore
It is sadness beyond greif , anger in its cruelest form
Jealousy is a spiteful hatred wickedly transformed



I don't really like this poem. Jealousy is a big problem I have and of all emotions I hate it the most because I can't control it at all unlike other emotions. For example when I'm sad I can put on a happy face and get through it, when I get jealous though I can't make that go away. So yeah that's that poem.

Escape

Everyday I wish for life to end
I'm Scared of the hurt people cause me
I Cry frequently in hope it will wash away the day
But All it does though is make things worse
The Pain will come no matter what
There is no Escape



Short, exagerated, but creative.

Chris

He was perfect, more then anyone could ask for
I had no room to complain
He complemented me, held me, wanted me more then anyone else
And in the end this was what scared me away
His passion was so strong
I was unworthy of such love and honestly not ready
I wanted to end it, but how
How do you let go of one so perfect
My friends all questioned why
Yet I had no logical answer, no sensible way to explain my emotions
To be with him was sensational tortue and sorrow filled happiness
My emtions conflicted, so I did what I needed to do
I called him and let him go
To hear the sadness in his voice was beyond my comprehension
Tears flooded my eyes, had I done the right thing
Days of convincing were now being doubted
I hung up the phone but his voice didn't stop
It rang in my head for what seemed like eternity
Finally I pulled myself together
It's over, I told myself I'll be okay but the pain doesn't go away
Now I sit here writing, wondering if I did the right thing
Wondering if I want him back
No, I don't, I can't
We will both move on
It's over



This is the story of my breakup with Chris. The most painful break up I have yet gone through. He was wrapping my Christmas present right before I told him that it was over. I felt like such a bitch. He loved me, a lot, but I just didn't return the feelings. So I think I did the right thing. We still talk from now and then. I even went on a date with him last summer. But like the poem says, that relationship is most defintently over.

Tears

I hate my tears, they make me weak
But it's all I can do when I cannot speak
I cry until my whole body shakes
Until it hurts to breathe and my head starts to ache
The tears fall down and drench my cheeks
My face turns red, I look like a freak
Inside my head my thoughts come fast
They will not let me forget the past
So I lie in bed crying, until sleep takes me
And I pray that tomorrow my tears won't once again break me


Not sure what inspired this poem or what was making me cry at the time but that's ok. I know I must of been crying when I wrote it because it does a very good job of discribing exactly how I look and feel while crying. It's also a fairly desent poem. It's got a couple of those good word choices lines .

Not Good Enough

As I lie here in the shattered remains of my heart,
I realize I was never good enough
Everything we have or had was a lie
I was used by the one person I thought I loved
Why I ever thought he would want me is a mystery
I am nothing but an immature, unintelligent, love sick girl


Short but brilliant. I love every part of this poem because it's exactly how I felt when I wrote it. I didn't try and change it to make it ryhme or anything. Just thoughts on paper in poetry formation. Bet you can't guess who I'm writing about.....

Stress

I wake up late, I look like shit
I try to hurry but my sister's throwing a fit
Finally I leave and I'm in a bad mood
Unfortunately my friend is too
So I'm mad at her and she's mad at me
We barely make the bus and I have to pee
People keep asking me whats wrong
I just tell them the story's long
But really I just don't want to talk
They know I'm lying and eye my like a hawk
First thing I do when I get to school is fail a test
Then I get to watch some girl hug my ex
The stress is building up behind my eys
I want to crawl up some where and die
When I get home I just need to rest
Because the pain moved down to my chest
But then my mom gets home and yells at me
Why won't the world just let me be
At the end of the day I'm ready for bed
For sleep to come and the stress to be shed


This day actuelly happened this summer during summer school. I was so frustrated that day that I came home and wrote a poem about it. This also I think one of my longer poems, the only one that might be longer is "Chris", a poem about a different ex. I think I did pretty well with this one because I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can relate.

Him

I love him and he loves me
But we both know we cannot be
Our relationships together never last
They come and go all so fast
It's hard to be friends with lust in our eyes
And I know if we act upon it, it will end in lies
Being around him is such a pleasurable pain
I need to leave him before he drives me insane
But I can't let go, I'll never be free
Because my love for him will always be part of me


As promised another poem about missing my beloved ex. You know most normal people write hate poems about their ex boyfriends/girlfriends, but not me. I guess that's because I'm still friends with Morgan (and because I'm unwillingly madly in love with him). Yeah so this poem is much more true about my relationship with Morgan, compared to my last poem about him. I don't like this one so much just because it doesn't flow very well, but that's because I was on my period and trying desperately to make things ryhme. As you've probably noticed I prefer the ryhming style, though I do have I think 5 that don't.

I'm Tired

I close my eyes and it all fades away
I wish that things could stay that way
My waking world is such a mess
I hate it all, I do confess
If I could sleep from now until forever
I would with no second thought whatsoever
I'm tired now from the world as it seems
Don't wake me up, please let me dream


Wrote this poem last night. I wasn't going to post it right away but I didn't feel like putting up another Morgan poem (which is the next one I plan to put up). People who know me probably have noticed that on some days I just have my head down a lot and kinda keep to myself. That's because I'm tired, I'm upset, and I just want things to "fade away". That's the feeling I'm trying to get across in this poem.

The Crash

Average day, average life
I got in the car, I didn't think twice
It happened so sudden, so very fast
I just turned left and then came the crash
The world went black, I could just hear and feel
The sounds, the experience was so surreal
The car stopped, what happened, am I ok
I get out to see the light of day
Everyones fine, but I continued to cry
The guilt consumed me, I wish I had died
Now it is over, yet I can't except what I've done
How could I have been so utterly dumb


I was in a car accident a few weeks back, it was quite possibly one of the scarest things I've been through. I wrote this I think the day after the accident. It's not one of my better poems I don't think, but I bet you anything anyone who has every been in a car accident can relate to it.

Through My Eyes

I see the world through blurred eyes
I cannot stop these tears I cry
My life is pain, lose, and jelousy
Darkness resides in every part of me
I cannot find hope or love
Sadness is the only thing I see much of
People don't understand my loneliness
They can't see my hearts emptiness
So to see the world through my eyes
Is to see it from a darker side


This is another one of my favorites, mainly because of the first two and the last two lines. I really like how those sound. This was originally planed to be my introduction poem but I couldn't fit in the line "Dark emotions are all that's left of you". Now this poem is a very good example of exagerating, but that's because I was trying to get it to invole everything that all my poems talked about because it was supposed to be an introduction poem. My life seriously is not that dark and gloomy. But I do cry a lot and I deffently don't tend to look on the bright side a lot.

Losing Him

I look at him, he looks through me
Why is it that he's all I see
I need to move on, get on with my life
But losing him was like being stabbed with a knife
He flirts with girls, he has his life back
It's seeing this that makes my heart crack
He says we're still friends but it's not the same
I think of this and I feel ashamed
Because I love him more then he knows and more than I should
If I could tell him this I know I would
But I can't or I won't, I won't ruin what we are
As long as he's happy I can watch from afar


This is one of I think 4 poems I would like to deicate to my best friend and ex boyfriend of 3 times, Morgan Elder. I love Morgan with all my heart, he really is my best friend in the world. And even though when I write about him he sounds like the cause of major pain in my life he's not (most the time). This is obviously a break up poem. I do believe, like all my other Morgan poems, that I wrote this while I was pmsing so it is very exagerated. But what I like about it is it touches on things I really did feel. Like the "he looks through me" and "he says we're still friends, but its not the same". Besides the little bit of extre stuff to make it more dramatic though this poem does a good job on explaining how I often feel about Morgan.

Loneliness

Loneliness is a dark rain cloud
That follows above you
That sounds like the foot steps
Of everyone walking away from you
With depressing smell of
dying flowers
And makes you fell like a falling
Glass that no one cares to catch



I wrote this poem in 8th grade for an English project. The assignment was to writing a sence poem, choose a feeling and tell what you think it would look, smell, feel, ect like. I obviously chose loneliness. This is because 8th grade was a time where I felt lonely a lot. I chose to include this poem in my book because I feel like it connects well with my life.

Cutting

I wanted everything to go away
But how to do so I couldn't say
So I picked up the scissors and cut at my arm
Knowing fully of the harm
I did it over and over, I wouldn't quit
The pain was wonderful, I simply loved it
In my sick mind I thouht the blood was beautiful against my skin
In some perverse way I'd thought I'd win
Like my broken heart would finally mend
As long as the blood flow would never end
But the pain came back as it always would
Yet I didn't stop cutting like I knew I should
So time went by and each day blood spilled
And sometimes I wondered, would this kill
But I never found out, because I was caught
And because of that I can say I've stopped
Everyday though it crosses my mind
Because the wounds have healed, yet the scars still shine



This I would have to say is my favorite poem that I've ever written. Now I know it's not the best thing ever written. There are some parts that don't flow as nicely as I wish it would and I know caught and stopped don't really ryhme. But that does not change the fact that this is my favorite. It's my favorite because this poem does a wonderful job of portraying my feelings. As you can tell from the poem that in the past I had a problem with cutting. I try not to talk about it a lot because I don't want people thinking I'm telling this story for attention. That's why I wrote the poem. I couldn't tell other people the story so I told it to myself. This poem is one of the few I've written that nothing is exagerated, I felt and did everything stated in that poem. So knowing that little peice of back ground info I hope you appreciate the poem a little more.

Bad Day

It's days like these I don't want to live
I just don't try, I cannot win
Oh please someone tell me why
Despite my tears I can't just die
It's like the hurt keeps coming, more and more
Eroding me down to just the core
Until all that's left of me in this room
Are my thoughts of dark and eternal gloom
But can't someone just make it end
Of course not, for death is not my friend
So here I am, free to cry
Because life's too cruel to let me die



Alright this is quite possibly the best poem I've ever written. Not my favorite, but deffently the best. I've had several people read it already and though everyone finds it sad, everyone also thinks it's very good. This poem is also being published in two books. My inseperation in writing it was obviously a very bad day. I like it so much because I didn't really have to think while I was writing it. It was kinda like the words just feel into my head. Most poems I write like that aren't very good, but I deffently think this one is an exception.

Dark Emotions

Welcome to the dark cruel world of my mind
Where happiness is scarce and love you won't find
Read about hurt, anger, and loneliness
Be glad your life isn't filled wuth such sadness
Hear about the morbid ways I hurt myself
Learn of ways to kill yourself
This book is not for the faint of heart
So put it down if you're smart
Because when all is finally said and through
Dark emotions are all that's left of you


Ok so that is the introduction poem to my book. Pretty much it's telling you everything you're going to find in my book. One thing you need to know, and I'll say a lot, I exagerate in my writing. My life does not really suck that bad. Sure I have some really bad days and while I'm writing my poems I feel like my life is that shitty, but honestly I know there are people who have it worse then me. So yeah, that's my first poem. Not my favorite but I think it sounds good and it's a good way to start out a book (or in this case blog) that is all sad poetry.

Opening letter

This summer I started writing a lot of really sad, morbid poetry. So much actuelly that I made a poem book the includes 19 sad poems by me. The book is appropretly titled Dark Emotions. The problem with my book is though, I can't really get it out there for everyone to see and I don't have pages to explain what I wrote. So my solution is simple: this blog.

So to all of my friends who have been egerly waiting to read my poems, here you go. To all of those I don't know I would love to hear your opinions. Also to all readers I want you to know I'm not some crazy, suicidal person. Writing sad stuff is just what I'm good at. So, enjoy.