Broken
I wake up each morning to find myself grieving
I seriously doubt there is a benefit to breathing
Life goes on but my heart stands still
They think this can all be fixed with a pill
But it's more than just inside my head
I walk and talk but my soul is dead
So if you find a solution please let me know
If not just leave me, let me go
This is another one of those poems that started with a good line I wanted to use that just came to me out of no where. The second line infact, but I had to alter it a little, it used to be "I find myself debating the benefits of breathing" but that obviously didn't fit. This poem is also a little weird in the fact that I didn't know what I was writing about until I was done with it. Also props to Patrick for coming up with a title because I seriously couldn't think of one.
I seriously doubt there is a benefit to breathing
Life goes on but my heart stands still
They think this can all be fixed with a pill
But it's more than just inside my head
I walk and talk but my soul is dead
So if you find a solution please let me know
If not just leave me, let me go
This is another one of those poems that started with a good line I wanted to use that just came to me out of no where. The second line infact, but I had to alter it a little, it used to be "I find myself debating the benefits of breathing" but that obviously didn't fit. This poem is also a little weird in the fact that I didn't know what I was writing about until I was done with it. Also props to Patrick for coming up with a title because I seriously couldn't think of one.
posted by Em at 1:19 PM
1 Comments:
Very nice. And I mean that in the 'good' sense of the word... not 'nice' nice. It's quite depressing. :P
Seriously, though.
"Life goes on but my heart stands still
They think this can all be fixed with a pill"
I keep switching between relating to that line and not. It's like the line is liquid.. I'm grasping at it, I get it, and then it slips through my fingers. I think I relate to it. Either way, I really like it. Contrast, Content, and Rhyme (which is more than I can say for most of ver,mine).
Of course, the last line.
"If not just leave me, let me go"
Kind of reminds me of the poem I wrote today. Not your best last line but it ties the poem up nicely. I like it.
Quite good. Especially like the title. :P
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