My Crime
My pen is my weapon, these lines are my crime
Please judge, what's the punishment for sorrow filled rhyme
I've confessed myself in sullen words
I've gained pitty that I do not desevre
Pain I have still, but love I have lost
Tell me now, at what cost
I've already lost all I hold dear
There is nothing else left that I will fear
Torture, death, I can take it all
What ever you say, it's your call
So, don't know what propted this or really what it's about. It started out as a strange appology for having only depressing writing, but turned into standing up for it. The ending kinda sucks and is really over dramatic, but I feel like that sometimes. Everything hurts so much so that I'm not scared of anything.
Please judge, what's the punishment for sorrow filled rhyme
I've confessed myself in sullen words
I've gained pitty that I do not desevre
Pain I have still, but love I have lost
Tell me now, at what cost
I've already lost all I hold dear
There is nothing else left that I will fear
Torture, death, I can take it all
What ever you say, it's your call
So, don't know what propted this or really what it's about. It started out as a strange appology for having only depressing writing, but turned into standing up for it. The ending kinda sucks and is really over dramatic, but I feel like that sometimes. Everything hurts so much so that I'm not scared of anything.
posted by Em at 5:29 PM
6 Comments:
Chris,
Your right that my poetry is an outlet for some of the horrible things I feel. My poetry is my new solution to depression and if you've read my poem 'Cutting' you'll know that this is an improvement.
I hope you're reading my blog for more than just to give pitty to a depressed teenage girl because that's not the reason I started it. Sad poetry would have to be my one true talent and I post it because I want to know what people think of my writing. Pitty is one I need from no one.
But even though your motives to reading and commenting on this blog are some what flawed, if you are willing to take the time to read my stuff I'm thankful. If you like one of my poems tell me why. I want to become a better writer and I can't do that without knowing what I'm doing right and what I need to improve on.
Chris
I'm sorry if I sound defencive, I promise I'm not as bitchy as you might make me out to be. But reread what you wrote and take it from my point of you. "I love to write people like you" Like me? What do you mean by that? To me it sounds like you like to write to people who's out look on life isn't that cheerful.
Of course I may have you all wrong, it wouldn't be the first time I've judged too soon (which is a habit I'm trying desprately to break). This is the first comment I've ever gotten though from a person who wants to know about me and not my writing. Honestly I prefer it the other way around, which might be why my responses to people like Kovier and Patrick sound nicer. If you want to learn about me, you're gonna have to go to one of my other blogs.
I am excited though that you're willing to read my stuff. Cridentials are not so important. I just want to know what you like and if that's not depressing stuff you might want to just give up on me.
Chris
The perfect answer. I now repsect you more and the way you said everything in your last comment lets me know your smart, which makes me value your opinion a bit more.
I hope you find what you're looking for in my writings and suggest if my style is not your cup of tea, that you check out some of the other peoples blogs who comment on here.
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Let me just start with this: The end line kind of disappointed me. Just doesn't seem quite as deep as it could be. However, the rest of it is plenty deep enough to make up for that. I'd have to say my favorite line for this one is the *first* one (go figure):
"My pen is my weapon, these lines are my crime"
I just like the way this line feels. It's got that sort of tongue-in-cheek yet defiant quality. Whether or not it was meant that way, it just struck me as powerful.
Overall, I generally like the whole explaining-one'sself poem format... A whole new level of Knowing The Author.
I'd say this is definately one of your better poems. Top 4, at least.
I know, I hate the last line!!!! I just didn't know how to end. If I can come up with something better trust me I'll fix it. My ending lines are almost always my strongest, but there was just nothing to be great that poped into my head. I'm glad you like it though.
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