Cutting

I wanted everything to go away
But how to do so I couldn't say
So I picked up the scissors and cut at my arm
Knowing fully of the harm
I did it over and over, I wouldn't quit
The pain was wonderful, I simply loved it
In my sick mind I thouht the blood was beautiful against my skin
In some perverse way I'd thought I'd win
Like my broken heart would finally mend
As long as the blood flow would never end
But the pain came back as it always would
Yet I didn't stop cutting like I knew I should
So time went by and each day blood spilled
And sometimes I wondered, would this kill
But I never found out, because I was caught
And because of that I can say I've stopped
Everyday though it crosses my mind
Because the wounds have healed, yet the scars still shine



This I would have to say is my favorite poem that I've ever written. Now I know it's not the best thing ever written. There are some parts that don't flow as nicely as I wish it would and I know caught and stopped don't really ryhme. But that does not change the fact that this is my favorite. It's my favorite because this poem does a wonderful job of portraying my feelings. As you can tell from the poem that in the past I had a problem with cutting. I try not to talk about it a lot because I don't want people thinking I'm telling this story for attention. That's why I wrote the poem. I couldn't tell other people the story so I told it to myself. This poem is one of the few I've written that nothing is exagerated, I felt and did everything stated in that poem. So knowing that little peice of back ground info I hope you appreciate the poem a little more.

Bad Day

It's days like these I don't want to live
I just don't try, I cannot win
Oh please someone tell me why
Despite my tears I can't just die
It's like the hurt keeps coming, more and more
Eroding me down to just the core
Until all that's left of me in this room
Are my thoughts of dark and eternal gloom
But can't someone just make it end
Of course not, for death is not my friend
So here I am, free to cry
Because life's too cruel to let me die



Alright this is quite possibly the best poem I've ever written. Not my favorite, but deffently the best. I've had several people read it already and though everyone finds it sad, everyone also thinks it's very good. This poem is also being published in two books. My inseperation in writing it was obviously a very bad day. I like it so much because I didn't really have to think while I was writing it. It was kinda like the words just feel into my head. Most poems I write like that aren't very good, but I deffently think this one is an exception.

Dark Emotions

Welcome to the dark cruel world of my mind
Where happiness is scarce and love you won't find
Read about hurt, anger, and loneliness
Be glad your life isn't filled wuth such sadness
Hear about the morbid ways I hurt myself
Learn of ways to kill yourself
This book is not for the faint of heart
So put it down if you're smart
Because when all is finally said and through
Dark emotions are all that's left of you


Ok so that is the introduction poem to my book. Pretty much it's telling you everything you're going to find in my book. One thing you need to know, and I'll say a lot, I exagerate in my writing. My life does not really suck that bad. Sure I have some really bad days and while I'm writing my poems I feel like my life is that shitty, but honestly I know there are people who have it worse then me. So yeah, that's my first poem. Not my favorite but I think it sounds good and it's a good way to start out a book (or in this case blog) that is all sad poetry.

Opening letter

This summer I started writing a lot of really sad, morbid poetry. So much actuelly that I made a poem book the includes 19 sad poems by me. The book is appropretly titled Dark Emotions. The problem with my book is though, I can't really get it out there for everyone to see and I don't have pages to explain what I wrote. So my solution is simple: this blog.

So to all of my friends who have been egerly waiting to read my poems, here you go. To all of those I don't know I would love to hear your opinions. Also to all readers I want you to know I'm not some crazy, suicidal person. Writing sad stuff is just what I'm good at. So, enjoy.